Birth Story 4
By Rachel Cook As a doula, birth assistant and student midwife I had experienced birth many times. At 40w6d and 6cm dilated with baby number three, I decided to let my midwife break my water as a method of induction. I was planning my first out of hospital birth; both of my sons were born with an epidural (the first was a planned epidural and the second was from exhaustion after 36 hours of labor). I went home and walked and walked, but no contractions. My photographer came over “just to make sure” I wasn't in labor, as everyone (including myself, husband, midwife and doula) couldn't believe that nothing was happening. At about 11PM (13 hours after my water broke) I decided to go to bed, with plans for castor oil in the morning. |
I woke up at 2:18am, to a wonderful contraction. My plan was to “ignore the contractions” as long as possible, so I went back to sleep. At 2:41am, I had another one - the intensity much worse, but I figured that was only because I was lying down. I notified my husband , then dozed off again. 20 minutes later - one more. I was starting to get annoyed. 20 minute intervals...to start? Oh, this is going to take a long time. A good friend of mine had told me she took a shower when she first went into labor and it seemed to speed things up. So, I rolled myself out of bed and BAM had another contraction. My husband said, “Let's call the midwife!” “No, no...they are twenty minutes apart; let's wait,” I replied. Then BAM, six minutes later, then THREE minutes later – I found myself curled over a birth ball on the ground next to my bed, dialing my birth team- hoping they would answer before another contraction hit.
I got myself to the living room, requesting hip squeezes from my husband during each contraction, STILL curled on my hands and knees over the birth ball. My photographer got there first; she said she could hear me outside before she came in. I remember thinking “My pain tolerance must be extremely low” because I was needing to work so hard during each contraction. They were three minutes apart lasting about 90 seconds, something HAD to be wrong-I didn't know how much longer I could do this for. My husband turned on some music and I immediately asked him to turn it off; I couldn't focus with it on.
My doula got there next and helped finish setting up the tub. I asked her to put on the TENS unit and she smiled and said “I don't think it's going to help at this point.” I didn't care, I wanted it on and I wanted my husband to keep doing hip squeezes. When my midwife arrived, I was so relieved! For some reason I thought that her presence was going to make the contractions hurt less...like the relief one feels when the anesthesiologist walks into the room. Well that didn't happen. In fact, I feel like my body said “GREAT! The midwife is here-let's release the contraction flood gates!”
I got into the tub hoping for some relief and, at first, that's what I felt, until I had another contraction, then another, then another. I wasn't getting a break and it was frustrating me! How was I supposed to “take it one contraction at a time” if I couldn't recognize the end of one and the beginning of another? My husband climbed in the tub with me and kept doing hip squeezes until the midwife asked me to change positions. I replied with “No...uhh, okay.” Moving to a semi-reclined position against my husband was agonizing. I thought about all the people I'd seen give birth in this position---what were they THINKING!? It was terrible, my butt kept floating up and my husband couldn't apply pressure on my pelvis-but I followed directions.
My midwife asked to check my cervix and I told her “okay” but I didn't want to know what I was dilated to. (I had experienced getting stuck at 7cm with my second son and couldn't bear the thought of it again) She checked me and I immediately changed my mind, “okay, what am I at?”
“A really soft 7.” She said. Seven! NOOOOOO! The dreaded seven (realistically, anything other than “you're complete, time to push her out!” would have upset me)! I couldn't do this for another 5 hours! (why I had 5 hours in my head, I don't know) Slowly my contractions drifted farther apart and got less and less intense. I was planning my escape in my head, estimating how much time it would take to get from here to the car, then to the hospital, and how much time it would take for them to ask their annoying admitting questions and get my blood work done then FINALLY get my epidural. Three hours was what I figured- THREE HOURS!? No option sounded good; leaving was going to hurt way worse and take way too long, but staying meant I was doing nothing to escape from the pain.
My obsessive thoughts were interrupted with my midwife asking, “what are you thinking about? Your contractions are more than 10 minutes apart now, you're letting your mind take over. It's time to stop thinking and let your body have this baby.” After noticing my doula, birth assistant and photographer had left the room, my response was, “I'm done. I want to go to the hospital.” I wasn't apologetic, I didn't care, I was stuck and needed an epidural to have this baby. I did not want to do this anymore. She responded with something like “Rachael, you can do this, you've come so far, but if you want to go to the hospital, we can do that.” At that point, however, I couldn't imagine actually getting OUT of the tub. Defeated, I then asked her to make the contractions stop. I explained that if I got a little rest, I could finish, but I wanted her to just make them stop. I genuinely believed that she had some sort of midwife trick to make these contractions go away, even for a little bit. When she replied, “I can't make them stop,” my husband let out a quiet giggle and I yelled “DON'T LAUGH AT ME!”
Then a HUGE contraction started building. I tried to keep my voice low as I threw myself back into the hands and knees position. I felt myself getting louder and louder and louder. As long as my voice was louder than this contraction, I felt like I could get through it. Immediately I heard my birth team scurry into the room. Another contraction came a minute or so later, just as huge and intense. The third one came and I subconsciously decided that I was going to push her out, regardless of if my uncooperative cervix was ready. Bearing down at the end of the contraction made it hurt a lot less. I was trying to mask my voice, so no one could tell I was pushing. I was so scared my midwife was going to say, “Rachael, you need to stop pushing, your body isn't ready.” But she never did. So I pushed again. I thought, “OK body, do what you need to do. Just hurry up will you?”
I had a friend that said she checked her own cervix toward the end of labor and it encouraged her to go on. Thinking about that, I reached down hoping to feel a more dilated cervix than before and to my astonishment I was fully dilated and I could feel her head! I yelled, “Oh my God, I can feel her head! I can do this!” It was time. I couldn't believe it, but I didn't care. An encouraged and calm feeling fell over me. I worked so hard to push and it hurt (a lot), but I knew my baby girl was going to be in my arms soon! My husband, still working as hard as he could doing hip squeezes, pushed back against me during each contraction. I felt like we were pushing this baby out together. His hands did not leave my body the entire time I was in labor, we were completely connected.
We had been keeping our daughter's name a secret, but I felt that everyone should know her name so they could greet her by name “Her name is Amelia!” I felt the atmosphere of the room lift. Everyone knew I could do it and that my little angel would be here soon. Two big contractions later, I felt her head come out. I pushed with all my might and felt one shoulder, then the other and in less than a second I reached down, leaned back and pulled my baby on my chest. I started sobbing, “She's here, oh my God, she's here!” Everyone in the room was teary as I wrapped my arms around my little girl that I had waited 41 weeks to meet.
I felt so strong, so empowered, I DID it! I didn't need drugs to have my baby, my body was strong enough to do it all along! I felt her cord pulse while she was still getting oxygen and nutrients from my body. I looked at her body and said “wow, she's so small...ish.” Noticing her chubby cheeks and dimpled elbows and knees. I looked up and noticed it was light outside. “What time is it?” “Just after seven” the birth assistant responded. “In the morning!?” I couldn't believe I had only been in labor for four hours! Turns out it was only 30 minutes from the time I said I wanted to go to the hospital, to the time she was was born!
My Amelia was 9lbs 3oz, 21 ½ inches long and the most beautiful birth experience I have ever had.
I got myself to the living room, requesting hip squeezes from my husband during each contraction, STILL curled on my hands and knees over the birth ball. My photographer got there first; she said she could hear me outside before she came in. I remember thinking “My pain tolerance must be extremely low” because I was needing to work so hard during each contraction. They were three minutes apart lasting about 90 seconds, something HAD to be wrong-I didn't know how much longer I could do this for. My husband turned on some music and I immediately asked him to turn it off; I couldn't focus with it on.
My doula got there next and helped finish setting up the tub. I asked her to put on the TENS unit and she smiled and said “I don't think it's going to help at this point.” I didn't care, I wanted it on and I wanted my husband to keep doing hip squeezes. When my midwife arrived, I was so relieved! For some reason I thought that her presence was going to make the contractions hurt less...like the relief one feels when the anesthesiologist walks into the room. Well that didn't happen. In fact, I feel like my body said “GREAT! The midwife is here-let's release the contraction flood gates!”
I got into the tub hoping for some relief and, at first, that's what I felt, until I had another contraction, then another, then another. I wasn't getting a break and it was frustrating me! How was I supposed to “take it one contraction at a time” if I couldn't recognize the end of one and the beginning of another? My husband climbed in the tub with me and kept doing hip squeezes until the midwife asked me to change positions. I replied with “No...uhh, okay.” Moving to a semi-reclined position against my husband was agonizing. I thought about all the people I'd seen give birth in this position---what were they THINKING!? It was terrible, my butt kept floating up and my husband couldn't apply pressure on my pelvis-but I followed directions.
My midwife asked to check my cervix and I told her “okay” but I didn't want to know what I was dilated to. (I had experienced getting stuck at 7cm with my second son and couldn't bear the thought of it again) She checked me and I immediately changed my mind, “okay, what am I at?”
“A really soft 7.” She said. Seven! NOOOOOO! The dreaded seven (realistically, anything other than “you're complete, time to push her out!” would have upset me)! I couldn't do this for another 5 hours! (why I had 5 hours in my head, I don't know) Slowly my contractions drifted farther apart and got less and less intense. I was planning my escape in my head, estimating how much time it would take to get from here to the car, then to the hospital, and how much time it would take for them to ask their annoying admitting questions and get my blood work done then FINALLY get my epidural. Three hours was what I figured- THREE HOURS!? No option sounded good; leaving was going to hurt way worse and take way too long, but staying meant I was doing nothing to escape from the pain.
My obsessive thoughts were interrupted with my midwife asking, “what are you thinking about? Your contractions are more than 10 minutes apart now, you're letting your mind take over. It's time to stop thinking and let your body have this baby.” After noticing my doula, birth assistant and photographer had left the room, my response was, “I'm done. I want to go to the hospital.” I wasn't apologetic, I didn't care, I was stuck and needed an epidural to have this baby. I did not want to do this anymore. She responded with something like “Rachael, you can do this, you've come so far, but if you want to go to the hospital, we can do that.” At that point, however, I couldn't imagine actually getting OUT of the tub. Defeated, I then asked her to make the contractions stop. I explained that if I got a little rest, I could finish, but I wanted her to just make them stop. I genuinely believed that she had some sort of midwife trick to make these contractions go away, even for a little bit. When she replied, “I can't make them stop,” my husband let out a quiet giggle and I yelled “DON'T LAUGH AT ME!”
Then a HUGE contraction started building. I tried to keep my voice low as I threw myself back into the hands and knees position. I felt myself getting louder and louder and louder. As long as my voice was louder than this contraction, I felt like I could get through it. Immediately I heard my birth team scurry into the room. Another contraction came a minute or so later, just as huge and intense. The third one came and I subconsciously decided that I was going to push her out, regardless of if my uncooperative cervix was ready. Bearing down at the end of the contraction made it hurt a lot less. I was trying to mask my voice, so no one could tell I was pushing. I was so scared my midwife was going to say, “Rachael, you need to stop pushing, your body isn't ready.” But she never did. So I pushed again. I thought, “OK body, do what you need to do. Just hurry up will you?”
I had a friend that said she checked her own cervix toward the end of labor and it encouraged her to go on. Thinking about that, I reached down hoping to feel a more dilated cervix than before and to my astonishment I was fully dilated and I could feel her head! I yelled, “Oh my God, I can feel her head! I can do this!” It was time. I couldn't believe it, but I didn't care. An encouraged and calm feeling fell over me. I worked so hard to push and it hurt (a lot), but I knew my baby girl was going to be in my arms soon! My husband, still working as hard as he could doing hip squeezes, pushed back against me during each contraction. I felt like we were pushing this baby out together. His hands did not leave my body the entire time I was in labor, we were completely connected.
We had been keeping our daughter's name a secret, but I felt that everyone should know her name so they could greet her by name “Her name is Amelia!” I felt the atmosphere of the room lift. Everyone knew I could do it and that my little angel would be here soon. Two big contractions later, I felt her head come out. I pushed with all my might and felt one shoulder, then the other and in less than a second I reached down, leaned back and pulled my baby on my chest. I started sobbing, “She's here, oh my God, she's here!” Everyone in the room was teary as I wrapped my arms around my little girl that I had waited 41 weeks to meet.
I felt so strong, so empowered, I DID it! I didn't need drugs to have my baby, my body was strong enough to do it all along! I felt her cord pulse while she was still getting oxygen and nutrients from my body. I looked at her body and said “wow, she's so small...ish.” Noticing her chubby cheeks and dimpled elbows and knees. I looked up and noticed it was light outside. “What time is it?” “Just after seven” the birth assistant responded. “In the morning!?” I couldn't believe I had only been in labor for four hours! Turns out it was only 30 minutes from the time I said I wanted to go to the hospital, to the time she was was born!
My Amelia was 9lbs 3oz, 21 ½ inches long and the most beautiful birth experience I have ever had.