Birth Story 5
By Stephanie Nance
Well, it’s been slightly over a year since our birth story began and I’m now sitting down to fill out this purple questionnaire about our experience with Around the Circle Midwifery. Go figure. “Oh wait ‘till the baby comes and then I’ll have a lot of downtime to do things at home, and projects and such while he/she sleeps.” Said every new mom ever. It’s okay to admit if you were disillusioned as I was.
Our story began pre-conception (How much time ya got?). As long as I can remember I’ve had an irrational fear of needles, knives, slicing (and therefore episiotomies), the unknown (and therefore contractions) and, well, giving birth in general. But when open enrollment came along for my husband’s insurance, we thought we’d shop around for local places we thought we might want to maybe consider possibly delivering a baby if we were to potentially discuss thinking about trying to entertain the idea about conceiving said baby oh I don’t know sometime in the next six months. Knowing my medicinal druthers, my husband recommended we check out one of the tours of the Birth House and Around the Circle. We ended up taking a tour late May and, as we were the only potential family on the tour, chatted with Carolee a great deal. By the end of the tour I end up spilling my guts and babbling to Carolee about how we aren’t sure when we’ll be ready for kids, and by the way I’m terrified for when we are and she so wisely and reassuringly said something to the effect of, “Yes, but when you do, scary as it may seem, you’ll have a sweet, beautiful little baby in the end.” And, decidedly unplanned, our son was born just shy of 10 months later in that very room.
Choosing to partner with Around the Circle for our pregnancy provided us with exactly the experience we wanted to have. The midwives took their time with us at each appointment to ask questions about how I was feeling, how was everything going, remind us of things we should start to think about at various milestones, and always had plenty of time to answer any questions we had as new parents, silly or not silly as they may have been. We were very fortunate to have a smooth sailing pregnancy, nothing difficult or unusual that we had to face. Until the time came was I was pushing two weeks post-due date. Carolee handled my emotional breakdown, “What am I doing wrooooooonnnngggg?!” with grace and love. Constance, knowing how much I wanted to let things happen naturally but also knowing how much I wanted to deliver there at the Birth House prescribed various things we could do to nudge the process along as we neared the two-weeks-late mark, meaning I was required by law to have my care transferred to a hospital. Thanks to the nudging we made it just in the nick of time.
Laborland was …well, long. Things moved very slowly, but I could never have imagined – or expected – I’d get the respect, support, patience, love and care that I received during our boy’s birth. Lisa, who was interning at the time, was incredibly attentive and encouraging – my cheerleader the whole way. Her bedside manner is impeccable; she will make a fantastic midwife. Constance was nothing short of inspiring. I was facing labor spiritually, and she was absolutely respectful of my beliefs and boundaries. When she became uncomfortable with the lack of progress, she was both delicate and assertive with her recommendations and I never felt like a bystander in my own labor. She did recommend a potential hospital transfer at a couple of points, but each time she would provide an option 2 that was more aligned with our aim. I trusted 100% that the safe delivery of our baby was her priority one and if a trip to St. Pete’s was the only way she could see us getting there, I know she would have insisted. But we took option 2 every time. And thankfully, option 2 continued to take us where we needed to be in order to get back on track. Repeat process several more times.
Also impressive was that, although I was slightly unaware at the amount of time passing, the day and a half it took for that baby to come out – plus the four other babies delivered that weekend – never showed on the faces of those women. My husband didn’t have the physical effects of labor keeping him awake and both ladies took turns to step in for him as my partner while he rested a little. Although I wasn’t conscious of actual clock time, I did eventually hit a breaking point when I thought I couldn’t possibly labor a minute longer. And just as quickly as that moment hit me, Constance actually turned into a super hero sans cape. Literally. She was heroic. I’m fairly certain that few midwives and fewer MD’s would have gone to the lengths that she did to accommodate what needed to be done to take me to the next phase of labor (Thank you for that Constance).
If I look back on the last couple hours of delivery and describe it in a word, it’s teamwork. I was NOT the only one working in there by any stretch of the imagination. Along with Lisa, Constance and my husband, add the infallible Rhonda, the birth assistant, to the equation. We’re all five in there on that small bed and I’m being lifted and moved and held various ways in order to accomplish the right position for pushing combined with the best position for the baby’s heartbeat. My favorite memory of labor was during the last several pushes. Over my right shoulder is my husband reminding me to breath at the right times (breathing, not something I ever thought I’d need help with.), on my left is Rhonda holding my position, down and center is Constance ready for the catch and above Constance’s head holding my hands and bracing me for the push is Lisa. In. CREDIBLE. I won’t go on and on (any more) about the thrilling hours post-labor, but if I could have one wish it would be to have the same exact experience for baby #2 when the time comes…shaving a day or so off of the duration.
It took months for my husband and me to be able to share our birth story with friends or family without welling up with tears of gratitude, humbleness, awe, and joy. And we were sad when the 8 weeks post-labor care came to an end, knowing we would no longer see these people we considered family on a regular basis.
I recently was out on a mom-date and chatting with a friend who shared her experience with the Around the Circle midwives. Within a vastly different birth story that did ultimately end in the hospital, her life was altered by the same women. The care and support they give in earnest while at the Birth House followed and stayed with her until her son was delivered at St. Pete’s. It was actually hilarious, with her experiencing similar overwhelming emotions in recounting her story to me, here we were in the restaurant booth practically sobbing about how remarkable these women are. Our kids have moved beyond tiny, new infant and are toddling around saying uh-oh and uhh? But, each time the topic has come up we can’t help but agree about the midwives of Around the Circle, “Aren’t they amazing?” and “Oh they are so…just…magical” and “…the most incredible women” and “They are beautiful” followed quickly by my favorite one that recently came from my dear, wise friend, “They are beautiful teachers of motherhood.” Well said indeed.